Niki Shisler

It’s January, traditional season of fresh starts and good intentions. The women’s magazines, weekly and monthly; the tabloids; Heat and the rest of the celebrity culture press; even the heavyweight broadsheets: everyone’s pushing a shape-up-detox-new-you-plan, and they’re pushing hard.

This is serious stuff, the January purge. December was all about the quick-fix, “drop a dress size in your lunch-hour” with the judicious use of seaweed wraps and watermelon juice; but now, heavy with Christmas guilt, we are signing up for the long haul. Appointments with nutritionalists (save your money - they will tell you to cut out wheat and dairy – no need to thank me), gym memberships, new trainers. Hey, maybe we’ll even start a blog, charting our progress from borderline-alcoholic lump of lard to sleek, serene, energised glamour magnet!

So far so ‘happy new year’, but can I be alone in noticing a distinctly schizophrenic flavour to the attitude of the press this time around?

In the parlance of the culprits themselves, “thin is the new fat”. After you’ve detached the 8 page pull-out on the GI diet, and read the side-by-side analysis of the latest celebrity exercise videos, you might want to peruse the seemingly endless features about the stars who are “too skinny”. I can’t remember the last time I read a magazine that didn’t run an article on “shockingly skinny celebs”. Nicole Ritchie, Lindsay Lohan, Victoria Beckham; all have been subjected to vociferous public criticism; all have been asked to justify their size. In Lohan’s case (and this is a girl who is still only in her teens) her fluctuating weight has been the focus of feverish media speculation for well over a year. We now have the bizarre situation where skinny teenagers are ripped apart, while morbidly obese women (yes you, Fern Britten) are celebrated as “gorgeous” and “womanly”. To add to the surreal ‘Through the Looking Glass’ impression, you’ll also find heart-warming stories of gastric bypass operations, nestled amongst the “concern” for Teri Hatcher et al.

The magazines seem to have no problem running screaming articles about “lollypop ladies” alongside the low-fat recipes; but it’s the subtext that makes the most interesting reading. The apparent contradiction can only exist because of a huge assumption being made by the magazines. Namely, that the vast majority of women would like to lose weight, but struggle to do so. It is as if by pointing the critical finger at “skinny celebs”, the magazines believe that they are giving the readers what they want: permission to fail their diets.

Of itself, this might even be acceptable; except that the messages being sent out by the magazines are so mixed that they defy all logic. This is not about tolerance and acceptance of different body shapes; in fact, in many ways, the ‘rules’ are more fascistic than ever. Heat runs a weekly feature called “Circle of Shame” in which an immaculately groomed and beautiful celebrity will have her crooked toes, bitten-down fingernails or visible bra strap, enlarged and highlighted for the amusement of the reader. Again the subtext is deeply unpleasant: Cameron Diaz might be a major-league beauty with a dazzling career and a hot, pop-star boyfriend but, forget that, just look at her acne! Is this supposed to make women feel good about themselves? Because if, according to the magazines, even Diaz can’t make the grade – then how is Ms Average Reader going to measure up?

Ultimately all of this just perpetuates the idea that it’s perfectly fine to judge women on the way they look; and yet, even in this, there’s no real consistency. What do you think is the difference in weight between, say, Liz Hurley and Victoria Beckham? A few pounds at most; and yet whilst one is endlessly criticised over her weight, the other is applauded for her beauty and will-power, despite her own admission that she eats just one small meal a day and is “always hungry”.

Women in the public eye have always been subject to scrutiny, but the range of “acceptable” body shapes is probably narrower than it’s ever been. Even if the size is right, there are still plenty of other ways to chip away at someone’s confidence; from the colour of their tan and the length of their roots, to their mismatched accessories and damp underarms. Meanwhile, whatever they may profess, if you want to know what the magazines really think is the ideal shape for a woman, take a look at the models they book for their fashion features.

January 2006